thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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