I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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