the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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