Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
