He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
