I cockslap morals
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
