absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
