u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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