I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
