Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize