i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
