why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
