why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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