I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
