I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
