i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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