I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
