So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
