yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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