how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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