and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
