The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We had to coat check the pizza.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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