I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
