Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
