i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
