very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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