I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
