it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
