Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
