he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
