just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
time to smoke my breakfast
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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