Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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