So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
