I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
