It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
