Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
