Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
