Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
