I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
