We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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