I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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