he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize