I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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