You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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