me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
