Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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