My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
