Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
