How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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