I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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