If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
