just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
