yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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