My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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