Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
