I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
