Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
